Conditions
of Marriage
Careful
consideration of the Qur'anic injunctions and the traditions of the
Prophet (peace be upon him) clearly show that marriage is compulsory
(wajib) for a man who has the means to easily pay the mahr (dowry) and
to support a wife and children, and is healthy, and fears that if does
not marry, he may be tempted to commit fornication (zina). It is also
compulsory for a woman who has no other means of maintaining herself
and who fears that her sexual urge may push her into fornication. But
even for a person who has a strong will to control his sexual desire,
who has no wish to have children, and who feels that marriage will keep
him away from his devotion to Allah, it is commendable (mandub).
However,
according to the Maliki school, under certain conditions it is obligatory
(fard) for a Muslim to marry even if he is not in a position to earn
his living:
- If
he fears that by not marrying he will commit fornication (zina).
- If
he is unable to fast to control his passions or his fasting does
not help him to refrain from zina.
- Even
if he is unable to find a slave girl or a destitute girl to marry.
However
some jurists suggest that if a man cannot procure a lawful livelihood,
he must not marry because if he marries without any hope of getting
lawful bread, he may commit theft, and in order to avoid one evil (his
passions) he may become the victim of another (theft).
The
Hanafi school considers marriage as obligatory (fard) for a man:
- If
he is sure that he will commit zina if he does not marry.
- If
he cannot fast to control his passions or even if he can fast, his
fast does not help him to control his passion.
- If
he cannot get a slave-girl to marry.
- If
he is able to pay the dowry (mahr) and to earn a lawful livelihood.
Marriage
is forbidden (haram) to a man, according to the Hanafi school, if he
does not possess the means to maintain his wife and children or if he
suffers from an illness, serious enough to affect his wife and progeny.
It
is not desirable (makruh) for a man who possesses no sexual desire at
all or who has no love for children or who is sure to be slackened in
his religious obligations as a result of marriage.
In
a beautiful tradition the Prophet (peace be upon him) has given the
most important point that should weigh with every Muslim in selecting
his bride:
"Whoever
marries a woman solely for her power and position, Allah will only increase
him in humiliation. Whoever marries a woman solely for her wealth, Allah
will only increase him in poverty. Whoever marries a woman because of
her beauty, Allah will only increase him in ugliness. But whoever marries
a woman in order that he may restrain his eyes, observe cautiousness,
and treat his relations kindly, Allah puts a blessing in her for him
and in him for her."
In
order that problems should not arise after marriage the Prophet (peace
be upon him) recommended that, in the selection of his bride, a man
should see her before betrothal lest blindness of choice or an error
of judgment should defeat the very purpose of marriage. But this "seeing"
is not to be taken as a substitute for the "courtship" of
the West. The man should not gaze passionately at his bride-to-be, but
only have a critical look at her face and hands to acquaint himself
with her personality and beauty. However, if a man so desires, he may
appoint a woman to go and interview the proposed bride, so that she
may fully describe the type of girl she is.
Since
believing men and women are referred to in the Qur'an, a woman also
has the right to look at her potential husband.
The
special permission for men and women to see each other with a view to
matrimony does not contravene the code of conduct for believing men
and women to lower their gaze and be modest which is laid down in the
Holy Qur'an.
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